What the hell is wrong with people, part 2

Can you believe I went so long without a follow-up to my first installment of what the hell is wrong with people? I'm so restrained. Or, too lazy to write down all of the many times every day that someone pisses me off.

Today, I went to the mall, in a futile attempt to find something non-hideous and dramatically slimming to wear to my husband's high school reunion next week. I almost never go to the mall, and when I do I don't go on the weekend, and when I do go on the weekend, I avoid grand store openings as a rule, but today I forgot all that and found myself smack dab in the middle of the worst suburban Baltimore has to offer in terms of humanity, courtesy of the grand opening of Boscovs.

After several hours of looking at my own reflection in a variety of clothes for heavy middle-aged women and discovering over and over that the reflection in no way resembles my self-image, hours spent biting my tongue at the 4,039 inquiries about my twins (yes, they are twins, no, they are not identical, no, they are not both boys, no, my son does not have hair, how kind of you to notice), hours spent not hurting any of the people who walked directly into me or my stroller and then glared at us for taking up space, hours spent wondering whether divorce might not, in the long run, be easier and less expensive and less psychically scarring than searching for a goddamn outfit for my husband's reunion - after those hours, and still without an outfit, we finally made it back out to the car.

I fed my daughter in the front seat while Tivoli changed my son. As Tiv took my son from the back seat of the van to give him to me for his feeding, the oh-so-helpful complete fucking moron human camel-back-breaking straw pulled back into the space she had been pulling out of to roll down her window and yell at Tivoli for not covering the baby's head. Tiv was a bit taken aback and tried to laugh it off, so the idiot yelled, "NO, REALLY, you need to cover that baby's head."

First of all, it was nearly 60 out today, and the boy was wearing adequate clothing and a blanket. Secondly, had my friend not been detained on her way from the back seat to the front seat, his total time of exposure to the elements would have been less than 10 seconds. Thirdly, and I think this may be the critical point here, it's none of that woman's fucking business. I am all in favor of concerned citizens looking out for children, but this was just, well. Really fucking annoying.

And my misanthropy continues unabated, now joined by self-loathing as I face the impossibility of wearing clothes made for humans four months after bearing twins.