What was I saying?

I just logged onto Blogger and discovered that I never actually posted the 3/4 finished, mind-numbingly dull post I started on Christmas. I will spare you all the post itself and recap briefly - Christmas was really good. See how easy that was?

It's hard to post when everything in my head is either too murky and deep (to me, anyway) to nail down concretely or so utterly the opposite that I get bored while typing it, as in my original Christmas post. The babies (and I) are still not sleeping, I am still obsessing over knitting and (though the obsession is waning) cloth diapers, I still do not know what I want to be when I grow up. Over in the deeper end of the thought pool, I am slowly coming to the realization that this adulthood thing is not just a phase, that my bad hair, no makeup, overstuffed-upholstery look probably no longer counts as temporary after several years, and that I may have to actually take steps in the direction of my goals and dreams (whatever those may be) if I ever want to realize any of them. I seem to be lying in the road, waiting for life to come and run me over, rather than choosing a direction. Or something along those metaphorical lines. This all sounds rather depressing typed out, but I'm feeling contemplative about it all, not despairing. Right this minute, anyway.

Oh look, something shiny - my husband just put in a movie. I begin to suspect that part of my lack of direction stems from a chronic lack of focus.