I'm such a failure

I don't want to go on and on (again) about how awful these babies are, how horrible it is living with no sleep and no hope, but I'm realizing now that they are almost EIGHT MONTHS OLD, and I have to be doing something terribly, terribly wrong.

Yeah. I just sat here staring at the screen, trying to think anything coherent to add or clarify, but I'm out. I feel like I'm dissolving, like what's left of who I used to be is disintegrating under the pressure of never resting, and I don't like who I am and I see no way back to who I was.