Saturday, May 15, 2010

Another day older

Alliteratively, I finally finished finals.  This strange year is over, and in my hazy memory it is blanketed in darkness, colors of fear and anxiety, with startling splashes of vibrancy and hope.  I don't know if it's age or wisdom finally accumulating or simple exhaustion, but I feel that I am learning to focus on the present and let the future take care of itself.  I don't want to miss the joys of today any more, don't want to keep borrowing trouble.

My beautiful children - I've spent the last few weeks balancing on the knife's edge of self and school and kids, and they have been so surprising, the bright points in my busy days.  I can almost smell the sunscreen and chlorine of impending summer, and I can't wait to see them, skin darkening and hair lightening, running around the pool filled with joy.  It is hard to hold on to regrets when I think about any alternate life that wouldn't have included my wonderful strange small people.


Sirikanya's Passion said...

I need to learn how to focus on the present and stop worrying about the future.

Thanks for sharing,

Anonymous said...

Very good article, glowingly written and very brainstorm out.

BrightLights said...

I loved this post. So true. Happy summer, and i hope you did great on finals :)