Another day older

Alliteratively, I finally finished finals.  This strange year is over, and in my hazy memory it is blanketed in darkness, colors of fear and anxiety, with startling splashes of vibrancy and hope.  I don't know if it's age or wisdom finally accumulating or simple exhaustion, but I feel that I am learning to focus on the present and let the future take care of itself.  I don't want to miss the joys of today any more, don't want to keep borrowing trouble.

My beautiful children - I've spent the last few weeks balancing on the knife's edge of self and school and kids, and they have been so surprising, the bright points in my busy days.  I can almost smell the sunscreen and chlorine of impending summer, and I can't wait to see them, skin darkening and hair lightening, running around the pool filled with joy.  It is hard to hold on to regrets when I think about any alternate life that wouldn't have included my wonderful strange small people.