Is perfection really that much to ask?

Our Saturday has not gotten off to the greatest start. Despite wretched weather and little sleep, we wrapped all the children in layers of warmth and headed out to the soccer field, having been assured by the 5 year old's coach that we would receive a phone call if the game was canceled. Of course, no one else was there, as it's pouring, and of course we did not receive a phone call. We changed teams the 2nd week, so I'm sure that's why we didn't get a call, but come on. It's that hard to add people to the phone tree?

Damn it, I just remembered that last year, when I was president of the doomed co-op preschool, we had to close school one day for heat and I forgot to call one of the new families. Damn, damn, damn. That memory just took all the wind out of my sails. Karma's a bitch. And so, believe you me, am I. At least today.

My five year old has been doing SO much better since the inception of the Kindness Jar. Really, he's like a whole new kid. Or, more accurately, he's like a whole old kid - I'm remembering how much fun we had together before the great miserable personality meltdown of 2006. Until today, naturally, when he apparently woke up and decided to be a raging asshole. I'm sorry, that may not sound maternal, but there's really no other word for it. Whining, yelling, flopping on the floor while I try to reason with him, eyes rolling in the head, annoying asshole. It is very hard to maintain my hard-earned, newfound zen mommy persona in the face of this. My husband, bless his incredible patience, is trying to keep us separated by playing "chest" with the evil little beast. In fact, he (my husband) just said, "I got checkmate in 6 moves!" Way to beat the 5 year old at chess, sweetie. Somehow, I suspect that Deep Blue is not trembling with fear.

I hate getting so grouchy, I feel crunchy inside my head and everything is irritating and my eyes turn green (no joke, I'm a freak). I could make a long list of the things that are driving me crazy at the moment, but I'll spare you all and go on a hunt for food to soothe the savage beast instead. I was thinking of going out to breakfast, since we're all dressed anyway, but upon reflection it doesn't seem that wise to be out with my children in public right now. I don't need any witnesses.