Okay, okay, here I am

So it's been weeks, here I am! And with nothing deep or meaningful to say. Life is mostly back to normal after my trip and miscellaneous personal crap, so now I have the down time to write again. Unfortunately, my down time generally corresponds with me being bored and therefore not having anything especially interesting to say.

I saw something yesterday that I keep replaying in my mind, because it made me happy unexpectedly and in a weird way. So here, I'll share. I was on my way to pick my stepkids up from school. I have to drive through a pretty sketchy neighborhood to get to the freeway. I was kind of cranky in general, mostly just blah, and not paying all that much attention, when traffic stopped for no reason I could see. I peeked around the car in front of me and saw a body darting into traffic. Now, in Baltimore, idiots playing chicken with heavy traffic is hardly note-worthy, but as this person emerged on the other side of the car in front of me, I saw that it was a police officer. He was running hell bent for leather across a major road with a childlike smile of pure joy on his face, like he was really, really enjoying his pursuit. Seemed so out of place, that smile. I looked back over my shoulder, in the direction the officer was heading, and saw two teenagers pummeling each other across the street. Waves of kids flowed across the street after the cop, all with the same look of glee and excitement on their faces. It's nothing unusual to see kids excited by a fight, but the fact that the cop had the same look of invigoration was sort of unexpected and uplifting. Not that that really makes any sense, but it sort of perked me up. I like surprises.

Home Sweet Home

I'm back! I'm sure no one's even checking this blog anymore, it's been so long since I posted, but at least this time I had a good excuse, being in a country with no noticeable infrastructure and all. Not that I'm complaining (about the lack of infrastructure) - a dose of enforced planlessness was very welcome.

Italy is just amazing, and the trip was more wonderful than I could have imagined. We stayed at a villa in Tuscany, near San Gimignano, for a week as part of a destination wedding (the bride was a friend of the friend I was traveling with). Everyone was very nice and interesting and it was a really cool way to be a tourist - with a gorgeous and friendly home base. I saw Siena, San Gimignano, Volterra, and Florence, and each was awe inspiring in its own way. The weather was perfect all week, and I took way too many pictures. After the wedding itself, we went to Venice, with three new friends in tow. Venice is more mind-boggling than the rest put together - it's the fairyland you imagine as a child, brought to vivid (if damp) life. I want to go back immediately.

The boys (and my husband!) did well in my absence - I think I missed them more than they missed me. I can't stop holding them or get used to the big boy's incessant talking. It's good to be home.

I have a million little Italy stories that are probably only funny to me, but they'll have to wait for a bit. Got to squeeze the kids some more.

It is so. damn. hot.

Yes, yes, I know, it's been ages again. I have attention issues.

My epiphany as I headed to bed last night had to do with the invention of the post-it note. As background (stay with me here), it has been approximately 156 degrees and 125% humidity here the past couple days, courtesy of our friendly 2-states-away-and-still-making-my-hair-frizzy buddy, Hurricane Ophelia. Seriously, worst weather ever, at least in the 8 years I've lived in this swampy pit of a climate. We canceled classes at my sons' preschool today because it was so hot. Anyway, and as usual, I digress. So, it's hot. And, more importantly, it is sticky. As I dressed for bed last night, my arm actually stuck to my side. I had gotten sweaty, then flung myself down in front of the (sad, inadequate, not dehumidifying) air conditioning unit to cool/dry off, then immediately become soaked again from the most minor exertion, cooled off, sweated, cooled off, repeat....all day. So, by bedtime, I had a thin but visible veneer of dried sweat. Attractive, I know. I wore a virtual shield of deodorant yesterday, so you need not imagine unpleasant aromas during this exercise. Good god, could I make this post about nothing any longer? Short story long, when my arm stuck to my side, then peeled off, I was reminded of post-it notes and how cleverly they stick but release. I'm guessing they were invented by another inmate of the mid-Atlantic.

I hear fall is due next week, between 2pm and 4pm on Wednesday - I hope it's not late, or I'll miss it while I'm in Italy. I'll be sure to bitch about the freezing cold when I get back.

Another overdue update

My friend Yvette is nagging me to write more, so here I am writing, despite a distinctive lack of things to say. Blame her if this is more than usually boring.

I'm slowly weaning myself off of 24 hours Katrina news coverage and trying to find more constructive things to do with my life. In the same Katrina vein, though, now that the Red Cross has called for 40,000 volunteers, I really want to go. Anyone out there want to watch my kids for 3 weeks?

My boys both started preschool last week. I'm just starting to realize how liberating this could be. My big boy is in school for 2 hours every afternoon, at the same time as the little guy's nap. Two hours, 5 days a week, all to myself. I already have a mental list of projects to do, but I think we all know napping will trump project on many occasions.

Other upcoming events - my baby's turning 2 on Friday, which seems wrong and impossible. He's becoming such a person, even if he is still mute. He's an excellent mime, so communication is less of a problem than you might imagine. The week after his birthday, I leave for Italy - I'm about equal parts excited and terrified. I know it will be an amazing experience, but it sort of feels like amputation not to see my kids for 11 days. Oh, and that man who lives here, too.

So, Yvette, there's an update. I'll try to think of some entertaining stories and come back soon.

If we must blame, blame Bush

Like everyone else, I've been glued to the news this week, weeping and feeling helpless at the unthinkable horrors in the post-hurricane South. I haven't said anything about it on the blog because it's so overwhelming, and what could I say that hasn't been said anyway? However, I just saw a poll that indicates that the blame everyone's looking for is shifting away from Bush and toward local government, and that makes me mad. I can write mad a lot more easily than I can write depressed.

I'm not saying this is the appropriate point in this crisis for blame to be laid anywhere, but people are pointing fingers with or without my input, so I may as well add my two cents. In the midst of my despair and rage earlier this week, when it seemed that aid was awfully slow in coming to New Orleans, I did have moments of relief - a feeling almost like camaraderie with my fellow Americans - when I saw and heard people from both parties united in their frustration and anger at the poorly organized response. It almost seemed that the silver lining of this crisis might be that it could unite a sharply divided citizenry and focus everyone's attention on helping each other instead of on ideological differences.

Now that the last evacuee has finally been removed from the squalid conditions at the Superdome and the New Orleans convention center, it seems that people are already returning to their pre-hurricane corners. The poll I just saw indicates that people agree that the federal and local governments were both unprepared for this kind of emergency, but that most people are not blaming Bush. I do understand that there were failures across the board, but with great power comes great responsibility, and Bush has made some really bad, really big decisions that directly contributed to this week's failures.

1) Bush created a Department of Homeland Security to cover emergencies of this scope, whether natural or man-made - he diverted money and resources to the new department, was reelected largely because of the sense of security it gave the public, and encouraged a meek legislature to suspend many of our civil rights to give it teeth - yet when the acid test came last week, the DHS proved to be woefully unprepared. Four years and huge piles of dollars later, we deserve better than this. This article is pretty slanted, though appears to have facts straight, and its last line is one of its best - "Homeland security should begin at home."

2) Bush sent National Guardsmen to fight wars in Iraq and Afghanistan under false pretenses. Whether or not one supports the war in Iraq (and I agree that we can't just leave now that we've so badly destabilized the region), even the administration now admits that the reasons they gave for pressing this fight were invalid and ultimately proved completely baseless. The National Guard has long been the most truly defensive branch of the armed forces, aiding and protecting citizens in times of natural or man-made disaster. Unfortunately, our military has been stretched so thin with the war in Iraq that much of the National Guard has had to go to Iraq to supplement our strength there. There is no way of knowing how much more effective the rescue process in New Orleans would have been with a stronger National Guard presence, but it's a fair guess that their experience would have come in very handy.

3) Bush chose the war in Iraq and tax cuts over many necessary social and infrastructure programs, one of which was funding for the maintenance of the New Orleans levees that ultimately failed this week. Local governments warned of the possible failure of the levees and asked for sufficient funding for the Army Corps of Engineers to strengthen them, but Bush had other priorities. He owns a big part of the flooding that followed the levee failures.

4) The argument I'm hearing from the White House about why the slow response was not their fault is that the state has to request assistance before the federal government can come in. First of all, I think there's a case to be made that the local governments did request assistance days in advance of it arriving. However, my bigger complaint is that this is a very childish "I'm rubber and you're glue" type of defense. Their argument is, essentially, "but they didn't ASK for help." Okay, George. I guess we're meant to believe that the entire federal government is so incapable of evaluating a crisis and independently determining what needs to be done that it must wait for specific requests before acting. Sadly, I actually don't find that all that hard to believe.

I do understand that coordinating food and transportation for nearly half a million people must be an enormous logistical challenge, and that immediate aid was probably not even physically possible. My concern is not so much with the timing of aid as with the timing of security. You can not convince me that it would have taken four days to establish a meaningful military presence if one of our great cities had been invaded by a foreign enemy instead of by water and homegrown gangs. The atrocities committed by a subset of New Orleans citizens on the unprotected remainder should not have been possible. Stories of violence and lawlessness began coming from New Orleans last Tuesday, the day after the hurricane, but a strong military presence was not in place until Friday afternoon. That is simply unacceptable. The defense I have heard most is that people on the ground fired on the first responders, so the first responders just went away. Now, I'm not at all saying that it was okay for the people on the ground to shoot at anyone, least of all those providing aid - but wouldn't the logical response be to overwhelm those breaking the law, rather than just giving up and leaving the vast, defenseless majority to be preyed upon?

Okay, I think I'm finally winding down - thank you to anyone who stuck it out this far. I do think that helping the victims is the most important thing, but blame does have its place. If we do not learn from our mistakes (or identify people who persist in making them at others' expense), we really will keep repeating them. I hope that there really is a unifying silver lining here, and that the checks and balances built into our government begin applying to the president a little more effectively.

Speaking of drinking...

I just went down to our disgusting, mold-smelling, cat-dwelling pit of a basement to use the sort-of-bathroom down there (because it seems like less effort to go downstairs to use the bathroom even though I KNOW I'm going to have to walk back up the stairs after). That long, overly informative sentence was not even the point of this post. It may be a long haul, brace yourself.

Here, I think, is the point. I had three thoughts following one upon the other that proved to me conclusively that I have had too much to drink in my effort to drown the anger at all the idiots referenced in the post below. Here are the thoughts:

1) I saw a spider (common in our basement, they outnumber us by a margin of something like 1,000,000 to 1), and instead of my usual (over)reaction of revulsion and fleeing, I marveled at the delicacy and near-transparency of its legs. How odd is that?

2) I washed my sheets earlier today (odd enough in itself, as I avoid laundry as much as possible until at least 3/4 of the members of my family are going about in pajamas or less). On my way up from the basement, to avoid further trips down this evening, I decided to bring the now-clean sheets back up. Unfortunately, all of my laundry baskets are currently in use (holding clean but either folded-but-becoming-unfolded or never-made-it-to-the-folded-point clothing), so I dragged the huge, disfigured, drawn on by children box that originally held our artifical Christmas tree over to the dryer and put the clothes in that. Then hauled it up the stairs. Then, upon seeing my husband's incredulous face, realized this was less efficiency and more insanity.

3) I sat down at the computer and saw the google talk window that shows that I, myself, am online and available. How is this necessary information to me, I wondered? Usually I approve of Google, but in this case I think they have overstepped. I know I'm available, don't waste my eye motions on a green dot that only references me.

I'm sure there's more, but I've lost interest. Going to re-watch Closer, as I made my husband turn it on after he struck out on other viewing options (crap movie on Oxygen of all things (is he gay?), WWE, NFL). I may have to go back through this post first, though, and count the hyphens. And parentheses.

I hate people

I used to be a nice person. I was a friendly child, had lots of friends growing up and even through college. Unfortunately, my first job out of college was running an internal IT Help Desk at a company that had absolutely zero standards for intelligence and seemed to actively encourage rudeness among its employees. My tenure on the help desk hardened me to people (and telephones, though my Pavlovian reaction to the ring of a telephone is another topic altogether). Working at that job, I developed a theory about people that is best expressed via the following chart (look! a graphic in my blog!):









This week, I have had to deal with a ridiculous number of people who were both stupid and mean (see category IV above). Not just the regular fast food employees and telemarketers, either - I have had horrific encounters with the following:

• Doctors (I went to beg for assistance with a heart problem that has been ongoing now for 9 months and was told that it was all psychological, despite the fact that the same doctor later heard the skipping beats and acted surprised that they were really happening)
• Government employees (in re: the preschool and ridiculous regulations I'm convinced are only in place to discourage people from trying to help children)
• Insurance companies (took my money as a deposit so I canceled my old policy, then had a call from the new company asked why I opted NOT to do business with them)
• Heating oil companies (was on hold for 17 minutes to get a representative to say yes, this is the only dept you can reach directly but no, they have no information and can only put you on a wait list to receive a return call within 3-4 days, and this is their SOP not a reaction to recent shortages).

This is why I'm for gun control. Look at the chaos in New Orleans - how much worse is the situation there because lunatics have been pushed to the edge with guns available for looting from the nearby Walmart? I'm being driven to drink by the idiots I've dealt with this week, I can't imagine how the refugees in the South must feel. I know I'm not to be trusted with heavy weaponry, why should I trust my fellow man?

I do feel for all of the people affected by Hurricane Katrina. I hope that this administration is at least as responsive to our citizens as they finally managed to be to the tsunami victims earlier this year.

I'm back!

I've been busy as hell this past week, but I'm back to my life of slovenly leisure now, so look forward to more scintillating posts about nothing! Last week the weather actually did not suck, so I took the opportunity to go (gasp) out w/my kids nearly every day. This week, the weather feels like a hot, wet blanket, and the bugs are so thick in my back yard that my 2yo cried and clung to me when I tried to let him play today, so the living room it is. I clean as fast as I can but realized at one point today that they are just capable of destroying faster than I am capable of cleaning, so I gave it up as a bad job and resigned myself to living like an animal in a cage until the weather turns again.

In other news, I finished three (3!) knitting projects and am on my 4th. Take that, everyone who thinks I don't finish things (oh, wait, that includes me)! AND, I got my passport in the mail. Whoop! Now if I can just get over the fact that there are fatal airplane crashes in the news every. day, I can really get excited about my Italy trip!

My latest in a rapid-fire string of obsessions is couponing and the Grocery Game (as seen recently on the Today show). Last week, I saved 40%, this week my goal is to save at least 60%. Very, very odd to have grocery shopping as a highlight of my week, but that just goes to show you how far a road I've traveled this year. Whether that road leads anywhere remains to be seen.

My heart is driving me crazy again w/palpitations, and since my doctors seem incredibly unconcerned, I have had to resort to self-diagnosis via the Internet. My leading contender at this point is mitral valve prolapse - I like it for several reasons, not least of which is that it requires no treatment and is rarely very dangerous.

Moderation, I know you not

Moderation is not really my thing - I'm very streaky (not in the alarming naked sense of the word, just that I obsess about something intensely for a brief period and then drop it cold). I have closets full of scrapbooking crap from my 6 month foray into scrapbooking 5 years ago. I have half completed craft projects of every description leaking out of closets and attics and wardrobes. I have books and articles scattered throughout the house on topics ranging from politics (given up as too hopeless) to investing (given up as too expensive) to tax code (not yet given up - I have an odd fascination with taxes). Point is, this whole blog-3-times-a-day followed by a week's silence is right up my alley. Especially as I've been busy feeding some other obsessions - knitting and the co-op preschool.

Knitting I know I've already mentioned, but you'll surely (ha! originally spelled that shirley, further proof that my brain is rotting) be impressed to learn that I have completed two entire items - a bag and a hat. I never finish ANYTHING, so this is huge. The preschool has been a major preoccupation this week, as I've had to preside (as I am the president, ha) over orientation meetings nearly every night. I'm not a nervous public speaker, but I am a little sloppy I think, and easily derailed from anything resembling a topic. Must focus at tonight's final meeting, end on a bang, etc.

So, just checking in. Off to print more materials for the preschool. Or work on the scarf I'm knitting. Or, you know, interact with my kids.

Punctuation abuse

I really do try not to be judgmental. I am one of those fortunate (and, evidence suggests, rare) people to whom spelling and punctuation just come naturally. However, sometimes other people's liberties with the written word just drive me completely up the wall. I am the president of my boys' preschool this year, and I have spent much of the past week revising ancient documents in preparation for our orientation. It seems to me that whoever first wrote these documents did not understand the rules for comma usage but knew that commas are necessary and so scattered them throughout the paragraphs wantonly and with utter disregard for rules of grammar or others' sensibilities.

Please, if you do not understand the rules for comma usage, learn them. You may think no one notices, but they do. I assure you.

More info than you wanted about my annual exam

I promise not to get too detailed here, but yesterday was my annual "women's doctor" visit and it was entertaining for a few reasons.

First of all, it was the first such visit I have really wanted to go to, and I owe it all to my children. I don't know if it was a full moon or if the merciful cold front that came through yesterday messed with their little psyches or if they just hate me, but yesterday my two boys were absolutely as bad as it was possible for them to be. My 4 year old literally screamed for 2.5 hours about nothing, and much of that time was during a trip to a public place. Lovely. My 2 year old pinched my neck so hard that it looks like I have a hickey. Now, I'll be the first to admit that my kids have great potential for mischief and mayhem, but the sheer effort they put into yesterday's shenanigans was noteworthy. By the time my doctor appointment rolled around, I was more than ready to ditch the kids with their unsuspecting father and go anywhere at all, as long as it wasn't with them - even the doctor.

Reason 2 - my doctor is a very, very (very) small man. Maybe 4'5, and positively dainty in build. He is dear and funny and completely non-threatening. His only shortcoming is a tendency to ramble on and on with nostalgic stories that would be very interesting in another context, but are distracting in the extreme under exam circumstances. He also lacks the ability to multitask, so I laid captive for 20 minutes, prepared for the exam and wearing a large paper napkin, and listen to his stories about boarding school in India.

Not that I'm especially looking forward to next year, but since I have to do it anyway, I might as well make the best of it!

Time Flies

Wow, it's been ages since I've written. I know you've all been sad. I've been knitting, somewhat obsessively, ever since my knitting stuff arrived on Saturday. My official claim is that we have no money for Christmas gifts (which is true), so I'm saving the family money and showing our affection for friends and family with thoughtful homemade gifts, but I fear the truth is more self-serving and indicative of incipient, if not actual, mental illness. I have a craft sickness - once I start something crafty, it's all I can think about and all I want to do until it's done or until I just burn out (usually the latter). Just writing this makes me itch to do more knitting. The current knitting madness specifically I attribute to the Yarn Harlot, whose blog I love and who inspires me to unhealthy levels of craftiness.

I've also been busy obsessively bargain hunting and coupon clipping, much to my husband's amusement. He can laugh, but I just got a $20 shirt for free and a nice computer desk for $30. So there.

Target - the new Tiffany's

I went to Target this morning for a couple things (and actually only bought about $20 worth of stuff I didn't need - possibly a new record). I've been so happy since I left that it made me think of Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's - love that movie. Since I don't live within walking distance of Tiffany's (though I do go there every time I go to New York, and yes it is a powerful mood stabilizer), I have decided that Target is my best local substitute. You just can't be sad at Target, surrounded by colorful, well-organized, reasonably priced things you don't know you need until you see them. I ration my Target trips, since you have to check your willpower at the door, but the deprivation just strengthens my affection.

I know I sound crazy to some of you (read: men), but I bet some of you are nodding in understanding. You are in my head, anyway, and that's all the support I need.

My new invention

My two year old is showing signs of wanting the freedom of a real bed. He sobs and points at his brothers' bunks when it's time to go to sleep, and crawls right in if we're not fast enough to stop him. I know, I know, this shows that he's blossoming into an independent little person. The problem is that independent little people are a pain in the ass. There's a reason babies are appealing, and the reason is that we can lock them up. Don't call CPS - I don't mean in a closet, or with handcuffs, just a crib with nice, solid bars, no more than 2 3/8 inches apart.

In the near term, my solution is to quash my son's bid for independence by keeping him penned in until he actually dismantles the crib. He's obviously not bright enough for freedom anyway, as he is a skilled climber who is frequently found on top of couches and bunk beds and could therefore easily climb out if he really put his mind to it.

It's the long term that concerns me and is the necessity this mother needs to invent. My idea is this - a convertible crib that becomes not a toddler bed but a larger crib, one that can expand to full length and keep my son cooped up safely until he leaves for college. Since it is inevitable that he will eventually figure out how to escape it, my invention will require a secure lock and alarm system. Actually, as I type this, it occurs to me that my invention already exists, in the form of a jail cell. The genius of my plan is therefore not in the development but in identifying the home market. I wonder who at the local jail I can contact to establish a business partnership?

Christmas in August

I've been on self-imposed house arrest for most of the past two weeks due to a combination of extreme heat, extreme laziness, and a nasty summer cold that has been running through the family. What did people do at such times before there were laptops with wireless internet access? I can't imagine spending this much time lying on the couch with just television to entertain me. Of course, my eyes might not feel so puffy and sore if I hadn't just spent 48 hours staring at this screen.

Oh good grief, I actually had to look at the title to remember what I was planning on writing about. My brain is mush. So - during all of my online couch time lately, I've been getting tons of ideas for homemade Christmas gifts. We don't have much money right now, but I love Christmas and I'm all excited about getting started with these projects. How excited I'll be to finish them remains to be seen. I ordered a bunch of supplies and can't wait for them to get here. Too bad I'm going to be very busy catching up on housework once they arrive and won't have time to work on presents until the next time I get sick. I think my husband thinks I'm a little crazy to be getting worked up over Christmas when it's over 90 outside.

In other news - how freaking annoying is Ty Pennington? I swear, he could build me a new house and I'd still want to shove something in his mouth just to shut him up.

Today's I-Can't-Write-Scapegoat - Happiness

I passed by an eviction today - all of someone's worldly belongings thrown into the street. I think my husband did an entry on that phenomenon a while ago, let me see - ah, screw it, I finally found the entry but can't figure out how to link just to that entry, even though I did it before. I think maybe that beer I had for medicinal purposes (did I mention my husband gave me his cold?) wasn't such a hot idea. But we're out of cold medicine.

Okay, the eviction was not the point. The point was - I realized as I drove by this particular eviction that I have never been evicted. Or fired, or really even broken up with. I was watching Kill Reality the other night (really stupid show), and one of the wannabes said that she had never experienced any personal tragedy and was therefore incapable of acting tragic. I think I made fun of her (I don't feel bad about this - I really think it's sort of the point of the show), but now that I think of it, I sort of live a charmed life too. I've been sad, of course, I'm not quite as removed from reality as the dimwit in question - I've lost people I've loved and I have imagination enough to comprehend the tragedies that every mother fears - but I have never gone hungry (or been evicted), I have a husband and children who are healthy and who love me, I had a well-paying if not at all satisfying career and now stay home with my kids by choice and enjoy it. I've never really had to deal with rejection, though the very idea of it can scare me sideways at times. No wonder I can't find anything serious to write about, I'm in the middle of a happy and therefore rather uninteresting life. Not that I'm complaining, if those are the alternatives.

In other news - I'm re-watching The Good Girl. Love Jennifer Aniston.

More politics

Politics is what you all get when I read the news first thing in the morning, before my defenses are up properly. This isn't really so much a political opinion as an overall feeling about the world, country, etc.

I just saw a picture of Bill Clinton and had a feeling of nostalgia - every time I see his face, I remember feeling hopeful, like things were moving in the right direction. It was just after the end of the Cold War, and having grown up with air raid drills in school, the new international cooperation seemed very promising. I graduated from college with no worries about the economy, part of a strong middle class - something that is essential to democracy.

Now I feel like we've squandered all of that - the international goodwill, the strong economy, the protected and productive middle class. It hardly feels like a democracy any more - any time checks and balances trouble this administration, they find a way around them (as in Bolton's appointment). I thank god for term limits and hope the damage isn't irreversible.

I'm really not extremely political, although obviously I slant to the left. I have a lot of friends and family who are conservative, and as I respect them, I respect their opinions. I hold on to the idea that maybe they see something I don't of hope and progress in this current situation that seems so dire to me.

Okay, back to regularly scheduled poop stories and children's antics - sorry for the departure.

Baby Names in the News

So far, I think I've kept my family's names out of this blog, but there's no real point since my husband is always saying them in his, right? So there's no reason for me not to rant about Michelle Branch naming her new daughter Owen. My 2 year old (a BOY) is named Owen, and we thought at the time that his name would be somewhat unique. Since he was born, I've met a ton of little Owens and resigned myself to the rising popularity of the name, but at least they were all boys!

I consider myself a feminist, women should be able to do what they want, blah blah blah, but is nothing sacred??? As a mother of boys, let me tell you - it is a lot harder to name boys than girls. With both of my kids, we came up with tons of girl names that both of us liked (we even have a likely candidate for the as-yet-hypothetical next one, on the wildly improbable chance it's a girl), but we struggled with boy names. There are fewer choices to begin with, and there's a much finer line between too popular and too weird.

I don't begrudge Gwyneth Paltrow her Apple or Julia Roberts her Hazel, or any of the other weird names celebrities give their kids - I get that it must be hard to have a private life in the public eye, and the public would probably complain just as much if they chose ordinary names. But I wish this trend toward hijacking good boy names for girls would stop, especially as I'm sure to need more in the future. My husband needs to buy an x, he seems to have run out of girl sperm.

Stranger Danger (or: children are dumb)

We are watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and just got to the scene where the children get in the car with Truly Scrumptious, whom they do not know. I decided to use the opportunity to quiz my 4 year old on stranger danger, which we HAVE reviewed before.

Me: What do you do if a stranger asks you to get in their car?
Son (emphatically): Get in the car RIGHT AWAY.

Um, no.
Resuming stranger danger boot camp now.

Grocery shopping shouldn't be this fun

I am the grocery shopping master. Our cheeseball local grocery store is having an anniversary sale and so much stuff was on sale for $1 each. I took my 4 year old with me (my husband's home again today so I was able to go without the baby, thank goodness) and I'm glad I did, as I ended up with two full carts and the boy had to push one. Totally tacky reveal of shopping total - $161. So proud of myself. I just about bought out the meat dept - got 4 roasts, 3 huge packs of hamburger, chicken wings, breasts, legs ($.49/lb!), spareribs. I should never have to go to the store again, ever.

I'm sure you all wanted that kind of detail about my groceries. Still high from all the savings, and the fact that I seriously shouldn't have to shop again from ages, as I've basically brought the entire grocery store home.

Not as thrilled about the renewed Al Qaeda threats against London, as I will be there next month en route to Italy. Of course, I don't want anyone else scared or hurt either, my upcoming trip just makes it feel more personal. Why can't we all just get along? :)