An email from my father-in-law

My father-in-law, in an obvious (and successful) attempt to scar me for life, just sent me the following email:

In a recent article in the New England Medical Journal, it was confirmed the negative impact a lack of sex (LOS, as we call it in the other households) has on family life. In an earlier post, I think you compared SEX to SKYDIVING - OK for nuts like your F-I-L, but not for you. In this article, the confirmed ramifications: no sleep; kids get on your nerves; a heavy and ongoing appetite and breast infections. If I would have read the entire article, I might have found the part about Chevy Venture electrical car failure! Advice: Do what you have to do to take one for the team - happier husband, cure your 3 year old acting like a terrorist, twins content at the breasts - and lower food budget. Do what it takes to resolve this untenable situation! Also, give some props to the Rav-4.

I laughed until I had tears in my eyes, but how am I supposed to face him at Christmas now??? And do you the last sentence means that he thinks I should have sex with the RAV? And what the hell was he doing reading medical journals, anyway? So many questions, so little opportunity to erase this from my memory.