One year ago today...

I used to do this borderline-OCD calendar thing in my head, where I constantly calculated where I was and what I was doing yesterday, last week, last month, last year, etc - it was a little tiring, but I always had sort of a handle on the relative timing of things. I still do it to a smaller extent, for big stuff. One year ago was a big stuff day - it was the day of my first ultrasound, when we saw not one but two little peanut shaped babies. I was not yet 8 weeks pregnant, but I saw the two sacs with their bitty little residents as plain as day, even before the technician turned to us and said "twins?" As if we already knew and could confirm it for her. I can vividly picture my husband's face as it drained of color, and I remember saying "fuck. oh shit, sorry, damn it," as I tried to process what she was saying.

Sometimes, it still feels strange that there are two of them. I don't know if it would seem more or less strange if they were identical. They are as different as they can be, both physically and behaviorally, but I can't imagine having had only one of them. I'd better stop now before I wax (more) maudlin. It's just hard to believe it's already been a year.
















Incidentally, are these not the cutest diapers alive?