I am hormones' bitch

I know my post-pregnancy hormones are leveling off - the first surefire sign is that my hair is falling out. Lovely accompaniment to the lingering blubber. Nothing says sexy like balding and fat. Until today, though, I've mostly been on an even keel emotionally. Tonight, I'm (at least mentally) on a rampage. My children give me plenty of legitimate reasons to be annoyed, but this is beyond. For example, the stupid fucking dog is squeaking and jumping on the couch off the couch on the couch off the couch and I'm. going. to. whack. him. with a 2x4. Like I even know what a 2x4 is. Wood, right?

So, if you live in my vicinity and have any intention of seeing me in person any time soon, I advise caution. And a heat shield, to keep from being scorched by my incandescent irritation.

The big boys are (finally, weepily, delayingly, unpleasantly) in bed. Keith is watching the 432nd installment of the Dateline catch-a-pervert special. The twins are, for the moment, asleep. Maybe I can shed this thin skin and resume some kind of normalcy before I must go forth into the world and interact again.