Snippets

I keep thinking of little mini-posts, but don't have the time/attention/energy to expand any of them. I started thinking of them as snippets. Snippets is my favorite, funniest word, courtesy of my husband's sleep-talking years ago. He usually sleeps really soundly (and soundlessly), so the fact that he talked in his sleep on this occasion was special in itself. Halfway through the conversation, I ran out to the living room and grabbed a notebook to take dictation, so some of the funniness has been preserved for posterity and is therefore available to be posted here and now. It went something like this:

Keith: There were so many trips, so many outings. Can't keep track, too many blankets. Each of them has had its own special moment in time.
Me: Each of what?
Keith: The radios.
Me: The radios?
Keith: No, not the radios, the show you're talking about. Each little snippet...
Me: Which show?
Keith: It doesn't matter which show...each little [pause]...well, NOW it's a show (annoyed voice).
Me: (laughing hysterically)
Keith: F you, I'll tell you in the morning, shut the hell up.

I'm snorting with laughter just typing this. Keith just said "you're cracking yourself up." I answered, "no, you're cracking me up." His answer? "Oh, dear, that's my biggest fear." Snort again. Seriously, no one else may find humor in this post, but it's making my whole day. And I even had a good day (hung out at the beach with friends, ate half a tub of hummus followed by half a jar of chocolate covered soy nuts (curse you, demon tempter Trader Joes), beautiful weather), minus having to help my slooooooow 5 year old do his homework.

So, all of this hysteria was motivated by my annoyance with the newspaper Keith brought home. We don't subscribe to the newspaper but frequently pick up the Sunday edition from the homeless street vendors (a whole other debate between me and Keith, they are too homeless), mostly just for the coupons. I was feeding one of the babies and was bored, and the only reading material at hand was the newspaper. I quickly became frustrated trying to get the gestalt of any article with one hand, and rapid-fire the questions popped into my head - how are newspapers still viable? Who can stand reading them, when they get ink all over you, break stories into multiple pages, use giant weird paper that flops and requires two hands and biceps with which to hold the whole stupid thing UP for viewing? It just seems like such an anachronism. I get my news online, for the most part, and maybe a little from TV. By the time the newspaper gets here, it's outdated anyway, so what is the point? We might as well still deliver mail on ponyback.

And there's my snippet for now. I just became aware of an unnatural quiet in the house and think that the babies may actually be sleeping. I must immediately throw myself into bed so they can wake me in 10 minutes - it seems unsportsmanlike not to act out my role in the nighttime routine/deathmatch.