Other people are idiots, too

Lest anyone think I'm singling out my own children for criticism and mockery, allow me to shed some virtual light on recent inanities I've encountered. Having twins has revealed to me a real lack of both education and common sense on the part of the general public. I'm sure this lack is nothing new, it's just more apparent to me now because everyone and their half-wit brother sees the babies as an open invitation to approach with stupid questions and unwelcome groping.

First, the "uneducated" category. The question I am asked most often, and I mean several times per outing, and even once by a person in the medical field, is whether or not the twins are identical. I truly just don't get this one. I understand that not everyone is a doctor, but the word IDENTICAL has a similar meaning in a non-twin context. Here, I'll look it up for everyone -

i·den·ti·cal ( P ) Pronunciation Key
(-dnt-kl)adj.
Being the same: another orator who used the senator's
identical words.
Exactly equal and alike.
Having such a close
similarity or resemblance as to be essentially equal or
interchangeable.
Biology. Of or relating to a twin or twins developed
from the same fertilized ovum and having the same genetic makeup and closely
similar appearance; monozygotic.

So, even if we use the simple "exactly equal and alike" definition and skip the more complicated "biology" definition, we can see fairly quickly that NO, my boy/girl twins, one of whom has blond hair and one of whom has brown, are not identical. Just as your car and your house are not identical, or your head and your...well, you get the point.

Next, the "common sense" category. I have been shocked at the number of people who have just come right up to my babies and grabbed (or tried to grab) their hands or feet or touch their faces or bellies. Please allow me to have a public service announcement moment and advise everyone NOT TO TOUCH BABIES YOU DON'T KNOW. You may even want to extend this warning to ALL people, and not just randomly grope anyone at all, but I'll leave some leeway on that on the premise that if you are dim enough to grab adults, they can take your education into their own hands. Hopefully in a manner emphatic enough to really drive the message home.

There, I feel better having gotten that out. I promise, I am nothing but friendly and polite to the absolute hoardes of people who approach merely to compliment my undeniably gorgeous offspring, and I do enjoy showing them off to a degree. I just worry a teeny bit more about civilization than I did already when confronted with some of the aforementioned behavior, though I tend to rationalize it by assuming that those are the same people who continue to give Bush a double-digit approval rating.