Capital One, how I hate you

My one month old twins have a bit of a cold. When my firstborn got his first cold, I was beside myself with worry and anguish over his suffering. I didn't sleep by choice (that level of devotion is nearly impossible for me to imagine now, sleep being more valuable than anything else I can think of), opting instead to spend every moment hovering over his wheezing little body, as if I could help him breathe through sheer force of will. Now, with my third and fourth babies - yeah, not so much. My attitude is more of a brief "aw, poor baby," followed almost immediately by an unspoken but strong sentiment of "suck it up and be quiet, kiddo." I know, they're infants, and I promise I'm taking care of them, I'm just not suffering for them like I did with my eldest.

What, you may ask, has this to do with Capital One? Well, I know I am not alone in my strong dislike of telemarketers. However much time and money has gone into anti-telemarketing legislation and credit card reform in the past few years, I want it back. But my feelings of distaste are multiplied 100-fold when the telemarketer in question interrupts the caretaking of two sick babies and will. not. listen to me. Here's the situation - Capital One has, apparently, issued me a credit card against my will. I don't know why they have done this, but I don't want it and I don't like it. Seems ominous and wrong that they can take actions that affect my credit without my knowledge or permission, but I digress. Since I did not ask for or want this credit card, I have not activated it. Capital One has responded to this lack of action on my part by launching a campaign of phone calls, sometimes as many as three a day, telling me to activate the card. I DON'T WANT TO. This is beyond their comprehension. During today's harassment, I basically begged the woman to cancel the account I did not request and stop calling me. While I took three minutes I did not have to try to impress upon her my lack of desire to enter into a relationship with her parasitic company, both twins resumed their "we don't feel good so we must nurse again even though we just ate" wails. I'm pretty sure she could hear them, as she had no trouble hearing me, but when I said, three times, that I had to go because my babies were crying, she responded with requests for such information as my social security number. Um, no. No no no. Go away, stupid Capital One woman. I finally had to hang up on her. I really don't like hanging up on people, even stupid obnoxious people, especially when I have not yet achieved my aim of ensuring that they don't call back. So, I am for now the not-so-proud possessor of a Capital One credit card of unknown credit limit and interest rate. Can I get anyone anything at the store?

Here's a shock - a twin is fussing. Maybe sucking on my Capital One card will soothe him, it's got to be good for something.