Sarah's disgusting Home Depot story

We had dinner with some good friends, one of whom told a story that immediately made me think "yay! a story I can actually blog about without alienating anyone!" And anyway, as an aside, what kind of friends do I have that I can't tell their funniest stories without risking exile? You know who you are, all of you.

So, my friend Sarah went to Home Depot today. At this point in the story, I was questioning her characterization of the story as "disgusting," because really, what could happen at Home Depot? Overmulching of the guaranteed-for-one-year plants (that I always kill anyway and never get around to returning for the refund)? Shows my lack of imagination, because here's the rest of the story - Sarah and her friend were walking through the store, browsing, and a woman speed walked by them fast enough for them to notice her but not record details about her. Immediately after the woman passed, so to speak, a "septic odor" wafted by, leading Sarah to speculate that they were near the bathroom or fertilizer. She and her friend moved on to another section and shopped for another 10 minutes. When she returned to the scene of the walk-by, Sarah stepped in something squishy. She looked down and realized that she had, as she described it, "stepped in human waste!" Sarah's revulsion really can not be described in words, but only fully appreciated in the context of her body language (shudders) and tone of voice (shrill). Apparently there was an entire trail of human feces through the store, some of it having already been tracked through by shopping carts.

I stand corrected - disgusting things can happen at Home Depot and I will never shop there without watching where I'm walking just a little more carefully.