More insanity from my children

Today was rich in crazy around here. A sampling...

I mentioned in a conversation with my big boy that older women can't have babies any more (don't ask, I get sucked into the weirdest topics with him). His response? "Because the hole closes up, right?"

The almost-4-year-old saw an episode of Little Einsteins this morning that has apparently scarred his poor weird brain for life. For those of you not familiar with it, Little Einsteins is not a scary show, unless cartoon children with disproportionately large heads and a propensity for bursting into song frighten you. And they should. But back to my wacky boy - there was a brief appearance on this morning's episode by a tortoise. Since he saw the tortoise, the boy has been glued to my side, unwilling to go upstairs or even to the bathroom by himself, and has been Rain Man-chanting this refrain: "the giant tortoise in my wall has strong claws and is going to kill me." I have tried logic (shocking that that didn't work), sympathy, tough love, etc, but he stuck with his concern and got shrieking hysterical if asked to go into his room. I may have toned it down a tiny bit by showing him the most innocuous looking tortoise picture on the internet, then telling him that tortoises like cabbage and giving him a head of cabbage to spread around the yard to lure the tortoise out of his wall and into the great outdoors. Sometimes, you just have to fight crazy with crazy.

Even the twins got in on the action today. I was trying to get them to make the sign language sign for "please" before each bite of dessert tonight, but they really aren't getting it yet. Finally, boy twin did the sign properly - but on his sister's chest, not his own. I wonder if it's making permanent dents on their psyches to be a group act?

There's lots of other stuff going on this week - I moved big boy to a new school (only 6 days before the start of the new school year) and girl twin got tubes in her ears today - but I had to get the funny in before my sieve of a brain lost it.