Knowing you're done

I am a frequent visitor to a large families discussion board. One of the regular topics on that board is how to know when you are done having kids. Some of the women seem very certain that their families are complete, and some don't seem to think they will ever really feel done. I worried for a long time that I would fall into the latter category. I would look at friends with one or two kids, who seem very content, and wonder what was different about me that made me want more. Even after the twins were born, for a while I just wasn't sure.

Now? I'm sure. And it's not (just) a feeling of being fed up with the repetitive inanity of daily life with small children. The confirming factor for me is how I feel as the twins metamorphose from helpless larvae into little toddling people. When my oldest was a baby, every developmental milestone was poignant for me - although I celebrated his progress, I mourned the loss of his babyhood, the disappearance of my baby. I even anticipated how much more severe that feeling would be when it was my last baby disappearing, but now that the time has come, I am surprised to discover that I am greeting each baby step toward personhood with nothing but happiness, and maybe a little feeling of liberation. I love babies, and I've loved my babies, but I'm happy to be done.

That sigh you just heard was my husband's deep relief.