I'm feeling underwhelmed

In a good way. I have lots of things going on - I'm a dabbler - but I feel happier and more free than I can remember ever being. It's entirely due to the enviable amount of support I get. I could never follow my bliss like this without a sugar daddy (my husband) to pay the bills and a free servant (my mother) to watch my kids and house.

I spent six hours at the hospital today. I know this is the right road for me, because I'm always disappointed when it's time to go, even when my back is breaking and my feet are aching and I've seen more horrific things that I never want to happen to me in one afternoon than I even imagined in my first 31 years of life. I'm looking forward to learning the art and science of medicine, but so far my hospital exposure has taught me more about myself than anything else. I've learned that I have a strong stomach and more curiosity than I thought. Most surprisingly, I've learned that I'm fairly patient and good with people, at least in small doses and short bursts. When I'm volunteering, I often end up "babysitting" patients who need a little extra care - because of excessive pain, or mental illness, or general neediness. I wouldn't have pegged myself as all that kind, but it's rewarding to see people chill out just because I'm holding their hands. It would be even nicer if such simple tricks worked on my kids.

I have to cut back my volunteering after next week, because school is starting up again. I'm retaking Chemistry I and Physics I, because my advanced age has resulted in my original grades being too old for med school consideration. Maybe this time I'll actually understand something in physics! I'm also teaching another computing class at a local community college. I hope I get as good a group of students this time as I did last time. I should probably start preparing for class. And pay my tuition. And change my volunteer schedule. And get groceries and make doctors' appointments and write a note to the boy's teacher and email the other boy's occupational therapist and clean my house.

No wonder I'm not overwhelmed, I'm not really doing very much after all.