Shut up already

Why can't I just BE unhappy and shut up about it?  It doesn't make it better to blab, just gives temporary not-quite-relief that ends up being more shame, more humiliation, and a deep desire to have not spoken.  It hurts too much to stay quiet, but just like crying about physical pain, the pain isn't really affected by the noise.  I'm afraid if I'm quiet I'll slip slide surrender to the deeper quiet and get lost for good.  So I make a string of pointless words and hopeless queries and hold myself up on it like the magic feather or the emperor's clothes, trying not to look hard enough to see that nothing is holding me up at all, that I'm already falling.