Aches and Pains

It's hard to keep an even keel when it feels like there's no break between storms, both literal and figurative.  I make new month's resolutions, then new week's, and finally I'm playing it minute by minute, resolving to be positive, to appreciate the good things that seem so fleeting and just endure the bad things that seem to go on and on and on.  I try to remember to let go of the things I can not change, or however that goes, but it seems like just about everything is outside my control, so it's a lot to let go of.  I can't find a groove.  I'm an aging, scratchy record.

I should sleep, but I want to write.  I should write, but I can only think of words for these feelings when I'm not at the keyboard.  In class, in the car, playing with the kids - at those times, I have to wrench myself back to the present, away from the thoughts that are so hard to channel into words now that I have the opportunity to try.  I feel like everything should be easier, that I'm missing a key somewhere.  Does everyone struggle like this, or am I really just doing it all wrong?