Crazy neighbors

I (mostly) like my house, I even like my city, and the neighborhood is much better than it used to be, but my immediate neighbors are almost all completely fucking insane. Today I will focus on the next-door neighbors, who resemble George and Barbara Bush in relative ages if not in politics (I don't know their politics or care to). When I brought my now-5-year-old home from the hospital, the husband saw us in the yard with the baby and said "I don't like kids." They both work from home and must have their groceries delivered, because I don't think I've ever seen them leave.

They must get bored living Boo-Radley-style, because they seem to spend most of their time looking out their windows and into my yard. We have a pretty big yard, and so do they, and our yards are separated by a fence, so they really could just choose to ignore us. God knows I try to ignore them. They collect feral cats by leaving food out on their porch, then complain when my dogs go eat it (the city rats, apparently, are welcome to the buffet). They collected OUR cat one day, after he had gotten out of the house, and kept him for a month without our knowledge, having him neutered and his ear notched before my mother rescued him. Ever since, they have insisted on returning the cat to us every time he gets outside, even though he rarely leaves our yard - they actually come into our yard to get the cat and bring him back. All. The. Time.

I just got involved in a pointless political debate (is there any other kind) with a friend from school and now dinner is cold and I've had more beer than I meant to and I have no time/energy to wrap this up gracefully. So, as my son would say, the end.