Beer brings my voice back

I do understand, on an intellectual level, that drinking is not a viable alternative to a normal life, but it makes me feel so much better. Is that so wrong? This was a good day, the first good day in a while, really, and for no real reason. I'm so tired of thinking about myself and what I want, what's important, it's nice to take a break and revel in the fact that there were random Busch Lights hiding in the fridge, that my stomach is rising in that pre-nausea roller-coaster thrill way because I'm staring at the laptop screen, that I had a moment of prescience with my husband earlier that makes me feel hopeful about the future. That maybe I'm not an aberration, that I can be satisfied in life, that I'm not an unfit mother and wife. It's a rush, and beer just helps.