Did you know I'm from Forks, Washington?

That ought to bring in the page-hits, too bad I don't have google ads. It's so beyond weird that my crappy small hopeless poor dying hometown is now world famous. For those of you who don't have preteens (or don't admit to reading preteen literature even though I know you totally do), the hit book series (and upcoming movie) Twilight takes place in Forks, Washington. For those of you who have never been there, and I'm guessing that's just about everyone in the whole world, statistically speaking, it's a really really REALLY small logging town in the middle of nowhere in Washington state, about 4 hours west of Seattle (no, Seattle is not on the ocean, I swear easterners never look at a map west of the Mississippi).

When I graduated from high school (oh, about 58 years ago), there were only about 2500 residents in town. Logging had pretty much dried up and even liquor had stopped being profitable, to the point that the last solvent bar literally burned to the ground a couple years ago (the rumor is that the owners burned it up for the insurance money, but I can't confirm). The town is about 5 miles from a Native American reservation, and although I spent my whole painfully long high school tenure in town, I couldn't tell you anything about the rez, because PC or not, the twain just ain't meetin'. Don't buy everything you read in novels written by a woman who's never been there.

Our sports teams had to be bused up to 12 hours (no exaggeration) for meets, our homecoming dances and proms were held in not just a gym but the old gym, there is no fast food or movie theater within 60 miles, and (this is coming from a 1st generation Forks resident) the gene pool isn't all that deep, if you know what I mean. My close friends and I spent nearly every day that I remember dreaming of the day we could leave town without looking back. There's really nothing to do in Forks, and that is also not an exaggeration.

So it's something of a surprise to hear that people are choosing Forks as a vacation hotspot based on the Twilight books. Don't get me wrong, I love the books, but most of the excitement in them is caused by the proximity to vampires, not the proximity to mind-numbingly dull nothingness and constant rain. I guess it's just sour grapes - I wish I'd bought real estate when it was still about $2.50/acre.

A weird holiday feeling

My emotions don't seem to know where to settle. I'm tired, after a long day, but it was good to keep busy while my nerves were fraying. I took my oldest boy with me to vote, and I hope he remembers this when he's older, the way our parents remember Kennedy (though hopefully with less death and horror). I start to get excited and hopeful, then dampen my enthusiasm with anxious watching, as if my own optimism could jinx the election. In short, I'm all over the damn place. I don't like that the first states to close polls are almost all too close to call - I want this to be decisive. I love that the voter turnout was huge. I want more sugar but I am already down to like 2 pairs of pants because of all the nervous eating I've been doing this week between school and the election.

PleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasewinOBAMA!

Ooo, champagne.

Toddler Talk

I'm supposed to be studying for a test in, oh crap, 2 hours, and I'm sure no one's even checking this sad excuse for a blog any more, but hi! The inmates currently in the asylum are being ever so amusing and distracting me from memorizing one more boring-ass fact about cellular respiration.

I love this stage of talking, where you can mostly understand their babbling but can choose not to at will, and where every somewhat intelligent sentence seems like a huge and surprising accomplishment, not so much different than if one of the dogs sat up and asked for his dinner in English. It's even more fun with twins, because they've started to supplement their just-us-two crazy twinspeak with real words, so we can follow along for the first time. The dialog tends to go something like this:

Thing 1: Heah go, Bean! (offering some partly chewed cracker or a toy she does not want)
Thing 2: Go a-WAY! (haughtily turning face away)
Thing 1: HEAH GO, BEAN! (now shoving offering in her face)
Thing 2: Fank oo. (resigned, accepting unwanted object and immediately chucking it)
Thing 1: Weccome.
Thing 2: Let's go, Sibee!!!!! (jumping up, inspired by alien baby forces, and launching into a full-out run around the house)
Both: TEEHEEHEEHEEHEE (until they collide, trip, or otherwise harm themselves or others)

So you can see why I can not, CAN NOT, focus for one more second on the stupid Krebs cycle or photosystems I and II or the phases of mitosis. I much prefer the multicellular activity right here at home.